Couples
Q. How can I find a qualified marriage coach/educator?
A.Finding
good help when you want it is not always easy. You want to find someone reliable
and that is pro-marriage. The national organization for marriage education and
support is Smart
Marriages.com, They have many resources for each area of the country. Also,
check with your local church. They may provide some help or will know of local
marriage educators. Lastly, ask your friends who have found good help. Word of
mouth for good help is usually reliable.
Q. We have a good marriage, but what can we do to keep it that way?
A.
Your marriage is a living sign of your love. It needs to be cared for and
nurtured. Have a mindful attitude towards your marriage as a living part of
your life. Just like the children, the plants, your financial portfolio, and
your job all need your attention, so too does your marriage. Read good books
about marriage, have a weekly date night, attend marriage enrichment
opportunities.
Q. I am working with a marriage educator, but they never mentioned this
technique. How can I tell them about it?
A. Buy them a copy of the book and tell them to read it before your next
session. You can tell them to check out our
Marriage Educators page.
Q. What about confidentiality?
A.
All client information remains completely confidential.
Q. I do not even know what the
options are if my marriage is in trouble. What are they?
A.
There are many options open to you. To find out more,
look at our options for couples.
Q. How do I know when to get help?
A. To find out how you can tell when it is time to get help, go
to our Know When to Get Help page.
Q. Where can I go to get help?
A. You can go to our Marriage Educators
and Coaches page where you will meet trained staff or you may contact us at
(847) 514-7709 or info@controlledseparation.com.
Q. We have already separated/ filed for divorce/ or divorced, is it too late
for us?
A.
It is never too late if you want to save your marriage. Get thee to a marriage
educator and begin to explore your options.
Q. Are there different types of separation?
A.
There are 6 basic forms of separation
Q.
What are they?
A.
There are 6 basic forms of separation that couples
and professionals working with couples need to understand and identify to better
understand their needs.
|
1. |
Divorce- couples misconstrue separation as
meaning divorce because the terms are used interchangeable.
Emotionally, some couples may be divorced but are still a twosome. |
|
2. |
Legal
Separation- Legal separation is
court ordered and subject to state regulation. |
| |
a.
Situational Separation- Two types exist: permanent or temporary. |
| |
b. Permanent Separation- A situation that creates a non-legal separation such
as money, kids in |
| |
school, religion. |
|
3. |
Temporary
Separation- business travel or
family illness. The situations that create this separation may be
brief, intermittent, temporary or ritualized. The parting may be
conflicted or subtle. Usually the couple will accept, tolerate or
condone this type of separation. |
|
4. |
Long Distance Separation- This type of
separation takes a toll on the parties' psyche. (ex. Military
service or career choices that offer brief visits to the home.) These
long-term partings take a toll on the relationship. Even
separate shifts can be considered long distance. |
|
5. |
Transitional Separation- This form of
separation begins when the parties' determine divorce is forthcoming.
They may continue to live together but in separate homes or one may leave
the home. Couple endure many critical changes in anticipation of
divorce. Stress takes its toll because of the changes taking place,
i.e. breaking up the household, meeting children's needs, etc. |
|
6. |
Experimental Separation- Controlled
Separation and Trial Separation. Controlled separation works to
reestablish order whereas trial separation may create more disorder. |
| |
a. Controlled Separation- Look at our CS®
Guidelines page for more information. |
| |
b. Trial Separation- An experimental
arrangement, planned or unplanned, wherein spouses
separate, usually for
an undetermined length of time. The decision can be mutual or
unilateral, and couple can dwell in separate or in the same house. |
Q. Are there any workshops or seminars that I can attend?
A. Yes, you can look at our
Schedule of Events
page to find out what is being offered.
Q. What can I do if I have any questions, comments, or concerns?
A. You can write us at 1641 Elmwood Drive, Highland Park, IL 60035 or you can email
us at: info@controlledseparation.com
