Controlled Separation Guidelines  

1. Time limits – set time frame, preferably three to six months.
    

2. Legal counsel – neither partner files for divorce during specified time frame.

(if divorce has been filed, hold it up for three to six months.)

3. Moving out – spouses decide which party moves out.
    

4. Division of home furnishings – fairly distributed as needed.
    

5. Finances – terms are to be just
    

6. Children – their welfare is primary (avoids neglect of the children)
    

7. Pets – how it will be managed/ responsibility details
    

8. Parameters of couple’s continuing relationship.
    

9. Dating others: “yes” or “no” needs to be specified
    

10. Confidentiality – avoid gossip – determine what is said and to whom (family/friends); define what is public and what is privatE
     

11. Professional Resources: Agree to stop analyzing relationship or discussing what went wrong in the marriage. Assign homework to couple and/or individuals as needed.
     

12.  Homework – agree to do it as requested of the facilitator.
     

13. Contract: verbal/written. No changes made without consent of both parties.
     

14. Termination of contract – individual or joint decision.